Love in Uncertain Times
My daughter, Violet, was born a few nights ago in our home on Oregon’s north coast. Supported by the practiced and competent hands of three midwives, as well as our doula, Mack, my wife, Adria, naturally and brilliantly birthed Violet into this world and the two of us into parenthood. I am deeply grateful for our midwives, inspired by my wife’s strength and resilience, and absolutely in love with our baby.
Bearing witness to the birth process was a gift that has only expanded my awe of the innate intelligence of the human body, and confirmed how integral chiropractic care is for pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum. I supported my wife’s spine and pelvis as she communicated with her body, with me and our midwives, and birthed our daughter into our world. We have this extraordinary vehicle - one that allows consciousness to emerge, to sense and explore the living world, and to communicate and share love with others. With our bodies and minds, we have been conditioned to look to the future - to plan and to plot - often under the illusion that just a little more “doing” will get us to the place where we can find meaning and certainty. Now more than ever we need to look to the present, to find the space between the stimulus and the response and pause there. The entire world has been asked to take this pregnant - sometimes uncomfortable - pause. It is a fertile opportunity to reflect on our values and habits and make fundamental inquiries: Is it more important to be right, or to connect?
I can say now from first-hand experience that the way to change the diaper of a fiery newborn goddess at 3:00 a.m. is not to shush her, or explain the inconvenience of her developing bowel’s timing to my sleep pattern, or that she needs to learn to modulate the volume and intensity of the wailing (8.5 is excessive, especially this early). It is not to get frustrated at the effective jiu-jitsu she is employing to avoid the diaper grapple. It is not to allow my own notions of how this should be going, or convince myself that she is already scheming ways to test my patience. It is not to prove my experience is right or more real. The truth, as it often is, is so simple and literally right in front of me. “You need to connect with her,” I hear Adria offer sleepily from the bedroom, “she wants you to sing”. And now I do, and it makes all the difference in the world - to her and to me.
In these uncertain times, some things remain true and shine even brighter amidst the tumultuous landscape. I recognize these truths being born from the darkness into my expanding awareness: Love is the light by which we all see. Mothers have superpowers. Choosing connection instead of righteousness makes babies laugh and the world a kinder place to live.
Smile on Your Brother
When unconscious anger is allowed to fester in the hearts of men and its fire is fanned by the bellows of ignorance and prejudice, a senseless and dangerous hatred arises. An unconscious hatred that distorts the mind and clouds the heart seeks to injure and to hurt, and has a will to subjugate because it mistakenly believes that’s the only way it can alleviate its own suffering.
To judge, to blame, and to lash out against other people based on circumstances beyond their control is baseless and immature. No one chose the time, place, family, culture, ethnicity, religion, or body into which they were born. We do have a choice, and I would argue a sacred human duty, to critically evaluate our perspective - especially with regard to those things we do not understand, we fear, or we cannot control. To compare this with equal measure with what the heart feels and with what the gut knows. No one is born with hate in them. Like an illness, it is acquired as an attitude. Left untreated it starts to affect behavior and if left for too long becomes a condition of debilitating ailments - indecency, unkindness, narrow-mindedness, and a propensity for violence.
The protections ensured by the First Amendment are meant as a safeguard to democracy, not as a justification to parade intolerance or incite fear into fellow citizens. I am a firm believer that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. Even if you believe any of the racist, prejudiced, or nationalist ideology, it still holds that it is better to be kind than to be right. As for race, we would all do well to remember that there is only one - the human race - and if we want a chance to share what is good and beautiful in this world with the generation behind us, we need to start working with each other, not against each other.
Come on, people now - smile on your brother...