Love in Uncertain Times
My daughter, Violet, was born a few nights ago in our home on Oregon’s north coast. Supported by the practiced and competent hands of three midwives, as well as our doula, Mack, my wife, Adria, naturally and brilliantly birthed Violet into this world and the two of us into parenthood. I am deeply grateful for our midwives, inspired by my wife’s strength and resilience, and absolutely in love with our baby.
Bearing witness to the birth process was a gift that has only expanded my awe of the innate intelligence of the human body, and confirmed how integral chiropractic care is for pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum. I supported my wife’s spine and pelvis as she communicated with her body, with me and our midwives, and birthed our daughter into our world. We have this extraordinary vehicle - one that allows consciousness to emerge, to sense and explore the living world, and to communicate and share love with others. With our bodies and minds, we have been conditioned to look to the future - to plan and to plot - often under the illusion that just a little more “doing” will get us to the place where we can find meaning and certainty. Now more than ever we need to look to the present, to find the space between the stimulus and the response and pause there. The entire world has been asked to take this pregnant - sometimes uncomfortable - pause. It is a fertile opportunity to reflect on our values and habits and make fundamental inquiries: Is it more important to be right, or to connect?
I can say now from first-hand experience that the way to change the diaper of a fiery newborn goddess at 3:00 a.m. is not to shush her, or explain the inconvenience of her developing bowel’s timing to my sleep pattern, or that she needs to learn to modulate the volume and intensity of the wailing (8.5 is excessive, especially this early). It is not to get frustrated at the effective jiu-jitsu she is employing to avoid the diaper grapple. It is not to allow my own notions of how this should be going, or convince myself that she is already scheming ways to test my patience. It is not to prove my experience is right or more real. The truth, as it often is, is so simple and literally right in front of me. “You need to connect with her,” I hear Adria offer sleepily from the bedroom, “she wants you to sing”. And now I do, and it makes all the difference in the world - to her and to me.
In these uncertain times, some things remain true and shine even brighter amidst the tumultuous landscape. I recognize these truths being born from the darkness into my expanding awareness: Love is the light by which we all see. Mothers have superpowers. Choosing connection instead of righteousness makes babies laugh and the world a kinder place to live.
Chiropractic for Kids
One of my practice members asked me recently whether I thought chiropractic would be helpful for her son, even if he was not reporting physical pain. She described a tightly wound, rather anxious young boy who seemed on edge most of the time. My answer, of course, was unequivocally yes. Chiropractic is excellent as a modality for helping people with musculoskeletal pain and complaints. Yet where it excels is helping people - of all ages - find more ease in their body and greater connection to how they move, feel, and heal. This happens when chiropractic focuses on how the patterns of stress and tension in the nervous system impact the expression of normal health and physiology. This principle applies to all people of all ages.
For me, the gift of chiropractic is nowhere more profound than when offered to a child. Helping to liberate stress and strain on a growing and developing nervous system, chiropractic supports the health and wellbeing of children as they learn, explore, create, crawl, fall, climb, and walk their way into our world.
Not too long ago, another practice member brought her two year old in for a visit. The little one had had a tumble down 3 stairs. Luckily, she appeared to be just fine. Wanting to be sure everything was okay, her mother brought her in. Wide eyed and with the world at her tiny hands, she walked right in like she owned the place. After reviewing with mom what had happened, I did a quick thermal measurement (I use an infrared thermometer with kids) on her neck to see if she was regulating blood flow evenly between right and left. Nearly half a degree off, this told me there was interference in her upper neck. In addition, we were able to see by the way she lay on the table and how she naturally turned her head that things were not even or balanced. Even though she was not complaining of pain or having any obvious signs of injury, the impact of the fall to her head and neck was significantly affecting how her spine and nervous system were communicating.
Moving through my chiropractic assessment, I knew exactly what we needed to do. With the most gentle and precise adjustment to her upper neck (I used my pinky!) both her mom and I watched as breath moved up her spine, she wiggled and stretched, finding connection, releasing tension, and then sinking right into the table with the most beautiful sigh. Witnessing the shift in tension in her little body was incredible. What it means - and why it is so profound - is that she was able to release stress in her spine that she didn’t need to carry. The physical stress from that fall will not create a block in her ability to move and it will not impede her ability to see and sense and explore the world around her. She can continue to grow and develop with an open channel for all that life presents to her.
So yes, I do believe that chiropractic can help kids and that it can do so even when something doesn’t “hurt”. That being said, if a child is reporting pain or dis-ease, that is a strong reason for them to see a chiropractor. After falls or accidents, persistent or recurrent illness, poor posture or uneven movements, hyperactivity or challenge with mood, or any time a child reports feeling pain is a good time to bring them in. In addition, I am a firm proponent of regular wellness visits, which often help to address underlying stress before it becomes a problem.
Children are our future. Please share the gift of chiropractic with them!
What Gets Baked In?
Since the beginning of this year, I have begun some kitchen experiments - what some might refer to as “baking”. Usually on a weekend, I will raid the pantry and/or fridge to see what ingredients are available to transform from shelf powder to home-baked pastry. There are recipes, general guidelines, and traditional wisdom passed down from current and bygone bakers, but reading about scones and digging into the trenches of butter and flour are two very different experiences.
Baking is a simple and elegant example of emergence. An emergent property is one that an entity displays in its wholeness, that is not present in any of the individual parts that comprise it. For example, butter and flour and sugar by themselves have certain textures and tastes, but none of them can be said to be a biscuit. It is not until they combine with thoughtful ratio and exposure to fire that the alchemy of emergence brings about a new form - one that is more complex than the sum of the parts.
Baking has also reiterated for me how profound a subtle gesture can be. In the kitchen, like in life, things rarely proceed the way the recipe dictates. The ability to adapt to a changing environment is important. Sometimes, a “minor” substitution can yield a major shift in the way the experience unfolds.
Take milk, for instance. For my recent batch of biscuits, I realized there was no milk in the house well after the process was underway. Instead, I substituted Bulgarian yogurt for milk because that was what was available. The baking continued and eventually the golden treats were drawn from the oven. The biscuits were slightly chewier than usual. Not long after the first bite, the eminent critic weighed in. He proceeded to observe that this batch was “not as good. Not like normal.” In other words, these biscuits did not meet an arbitrary and preconceived notion of perfection.
But what about how they browned more evenly and the outer crust was richer? What about the witness who could take a moment to appreciate that I can spend a Sunday morning baking something (anything!) for the sheer pleasure of it? It gave me a chance to reflect on how much I/we miss in the ceaseless quest to judge and criticize instead of simply seeing what is right in front of us. Simple in its truth, yet sometimes rather challenging in practice. This process does not happen in isolation and I enjoy the good fortune to have a partner who encourages me to see this way, who reminds me when I seem to forget, and who patiently supports my adventures in baking.
Another “minor” substitution I have been experimenting with is reframing the question my mind asks about many of the things it considers. The shift from “what if…” to “what is…” may only reflect a single letter substitution in the ingredient phrase, but it yields a much different and much richer Present when it comes out of the oven.
As we enter the heat and the fire of this summer season, I am curious to ask: what is getting baked in? And how does the art and manner of how we bake impact what emerges?
