Smile on Your Brother
When unconscious anger is allowed to fester in the hearts of men and its fire is fanned by the bellows of ignorance and prejudice, a senseless and dangerous hatred arises. An unconscious hatred that distorts the mind and clouds the heart seeks to injure and to hurt, and has a will to subjugate because it mistakenly believes that’s the only way it can alleviate its own suffering.
To judge, to blame, and to lash out against other people based on circumstances beyond their control is baseless and immature. No one chose the time, place, family, culture, ethnicity, religion, or body into which they were born. We do have a choice, and I would argue a sacred human duty, to critically evaluate our perspective - especially with regard to those things we do not understand, we fear, or we cannot control. To compare this with equal measure with what the heart feels and with what the gut knows. No one is born with hate in them. Like an illness, it is acquired as an attitude. Left untreated it starts to affect behavior and if left for too long becomes a condition of debilitating ailments - indecency, unkindness, narrow-mindedness, and a propensity for violence.
The protections ensured by the First Amendment are meant as a safeguard to democracy, not as a justification to parade intolerance or incite fear into fellow citizens. I am a firm believer that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. Even if you believe any of the racist, prejudiced, or nationalist ideology, it still holds that it is better to be kind than to be right. As for race, we would all do well to remember that there is only one - the human race - and if we want a chance to share what is good and beautiful in this world with the generation behind us, we need to start working with each other, not against each other.
Come on, people now - smile on your brother...
Why I Write
When I first opened my practice, I made a commitment to publish a blog post once a week. Originally, the intent was to update my website in the hope that consistently generating new content would boost my SEO (search engine optimization). I thought this would help people on the internet find me and my office.
I looked at other sites, watched too many Facebook videos about internet marketing, and started reading books about how to boost digital presence. There is a lot of information out there. One of the tidbits that I believe applies to all writing is knowing who the audience is. This seems to be an important aspect in honing what and how one writes.
After 7 months, I realized who I was writing for.
I write for myself. I consider this blog a meditation and I write as a way to record and distill the important observations and lessons I’m learning in life and in practice. It's a way to remind myself that I can be a better human, that I can continue to learn how, and that the often messy business of living is a practice and process. I don’t have it figured out, but I’m working to improve.
I see now that my intent for this blog is, and in a way always was, modelled after the writing of Marcus Aurelius. His famous work is called Meditations, but a closer translation of his title Ta eis heauton is “to himself.” Even though he was the emperor of Rome, he wasn't telling anyone what to do. His writing was for an audience of one. He was reminding himself what the important things to focus on were.
I share my meditations for 2 reasons. There is a sense of accountability that is inherent in making them public. It encourages greater discipline to put into practice what I am learning, even though at times this is much easier said than done. Also, I believe that if these observations are valuable, they aren't valuable solely for me. If in sharing I can pass forward something of value, then it won’t do to keep it to myself. This is why I write.
Control
When confronted with experiences that challenge the perceived stability of life, we have an inherent tendency to try to regain control. Even our best-laid plans cannot account for many of the curve balls thrown by fate.
Sometimes the store is out of eggs when we promised to make breakfast or there is unusual traffic on the day of an important meeting. Sometimes dogs run away. Sometimes people get diagnosed with terminal cancer.
What can be done when we are presented with things that are simply beyond our ability to control?
We can ask for help.
We can choose to face the challenge with honesty and with courage.
We can practice directing our attention to gratitude for that which is good.
The only thing we have any degree of control over is how we choose to see and respond to the challenges and the opportunities life provides. We cannot tell the wind when or how to blow, but we can learn to sail.
